The terrible result of indoctrination.
As much as I want to escape, I feel that things will go terribly wrong once I do; I'll get a terrible illness for which I'll need help that won't be there, or I'll fall on hard financial times, or I'll suffer an accident and there'll be nobody there to help. It's a horrible, paralyzing mind trick that this deep indoctrination plays over and over in my psyche.
It keeps me in chains, I feel 'til the day I die. This fear mortifies me every single day.
DY